santa barbara, 1979

you are the essence of Santa Barbara, 1979. you are a million journal entries, a piano soliliquy.

there are greyish periwinkle skies in january that make me think of summer, make me think of you.

you are free, you are free, you are touching the Veil with every move you make. every downfall brings you higher. the soul’s paradox of Love.

gonna climb a really tall mountain one day. buy a one-trip airplane ticket and live freely, fully. i’ll bake and break bread with people i just met that morning. right now i am learning to breathe again, learning to take care of myself again, learning new things every day again. i am a tender kiss and a tidal wave. i am guided by fire and cloud. i am a dreamer.

go ahead. take a step. dive into yourself, and out of yourself. learn what you need to heal from. take care of your body. i’m at a beautiful stage of liberation, but it’s really been here all along. it’s time to be gentle, to be mindful, to be valiant and courageous and unmoving from the truth. i urge you: don’t believe everything your mind tells you.

you are a storyteller, but you are also the story. take a risk, feed your spirit-fire. there’s joy ahead and behind you. call a friend, be embarrassing. laugh louder than you should have and show the things you hate about your body. you are attractive, in the sense that you are an abundance of atoms being held together by nothing but Jesus!! scientists are truly baffled! they want to have what you have.

buy a ticket, play piano. learn all you can. spend money and save it. cry with another person, whether they be stranger or friend or somewhere in between. exist in a place for a while and learn it’s quirks and beauty. fall into sickness, heal from it. love with your whole heart. it’s going to be ok, all the pain and hurt, all the wonder and magic, they create a beautiful melody of minor and major chords that weace so elegantly in and out of each other like a cosmic viennesse waltz. let your lover lead you. take a terrifying, beautiful, mysterious step onto the ocean waters.

live the life he gave you. it’s right here.